In an effort to complement last week's LOVE FEST, I am going back to my roots and write about why I first got involved in the body positive movement. It is not altruistic. It is not because I saw the way the patriarchal culture was crushing the hopes and dreams of men and women everywhere. No.
It is because I came to the stunning realization that after I became more familiar and comfortable with my body, after I began to cultivate a true curiosity and appreciation for it, my sex life exploded. As in, sex became this whole other thing. And while I am sure, as you are reading this, it seems very logical and obvious to you, it kinda took me by surprise.
Even though most of my life, I had been extremely athletic, not to mention interested in practicing and perfecting creative hand skills most people would find tedious. For some reason, I saw those as different from sex. But in the end, as is usually the case, they are all very well related. When it comes to your body, the more curious you are about it, the more you are interested in finding out just what it can do, the more you learn. And the more you learn, the more you understand and appreciate.
Sounds simple, I know. But how many of us actually take the time to see what we can do? How many of us, when working out or participating in any type of physical activity, are doing it from a stand point of curiosity and excitement? When was the last time you went to the gym or on a run, or got on your bike and thought, "what can I have my body do today?" When was the last time you approached sex in this manner?
I will admit, I went a little crazy at first, writing about what I know about sex, how to choose lovers, and how to pick up dudes in bars. I even wrote a post for Elephant Journal about blow jobs!! Those were all very good posts. All entertaining in one way or another. But soon enough, I realized that like any type of spiritual practice, the love that you have for yourself and for your body is sacred. It is vital. It is what can give your life a profound meaning that no other practice can. It can give you a confidence that is practically bullet proof, and when you share it with a community? There really is no end to what you can accompish.
I have come to the fine point in my life's work. It is the journey of truly appreciating and loving yourself and your body, cultivating and committing to a practice to maintain that, building a community of like-minded people around you to reinforce that, then, finally, telling the haters to fuck off. Yes, that is part of this, this self-love, self-actualizing journey, and why it is so important. So many of us are brainwashed, so many of us have been tortured and tormented in to inhuman shapes and sizes to the point that it has affected us psychologically; to where we resent those who would dare to be free without modification or shame.
If there was no crushing expectation of who you had to be, this work would not be necessary; it would not be vital. But the times, the society now demands it. It is now time to cast off the unrealistic expectations of perfection, of ourselves and each other. It is now time to be curious. It is now time to come to an understanding of what it means to truly be human. To tap into the limitless potential of who we can be as individuals, and who we can be when we work together. It is time to appreciate, to celebrate what it means to be people. I fear, if we do not do this now, we might run out of time to do it at all.
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