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What I Attract

10/28/2016

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I feel hollow inside except for the pain. This happens every once in a while. Everything in my life seems to go wrong. People who I thought were my friends, are not, and things I depended upon before are no longer available to me. So I am in the dark.

I was talking with a good friend of mine about it, and she suggested, quite softly, that it was worth looking at my part of it. So I have been, and I see a pattern and it makes me feel like a lot of the work I do is for naught. All the internal work, all the energy work, all the therapy, it looks like it hasn't been working. I mean, I know it has, it just looks like it hasn't.

Then I realize that these are just lessons. The people I attract into my life are my teachers, and the situations I am supposed to work my way out of are all teaching me. Maybe these lessons are more painful because more and more, they are teaching me to not depend on others as much as I do. But that could be the pain talking.

Anyway, the one thing I know, thank goodness, is that I am not going to beat myself up about it. I am just going to make choices that don't open me up to this kind of pain. Maybe choose differently. I don't know. I will know better once I work my way out. 

​For now I am just going to feel it, and that is okay.

This shit is depressing. Don't share unless you feel like it is helpful. 
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Self-love and Exploration.

10/26/2016

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I think I might be sick of dating. I know. I have said this before, maybe more than a few times, probably as many as I have decided to quit facebook, but seriously, I am starting to wonder why I spend SO MUCH TIME doing something that is bringing me less and less joy as time goes by. 

I don't even get nervous on dates anymore, and I think it is starting to effect the experience. I was about to roll around in the sack with a guy the other week, and he was acting a bit odd, so I asked him if he was nervous, and he said, "yes, aren't you?" Frankly, I was not. I was actually, impatient.

I am not sure you are supposed to feel like that when you are about to have sex with someone for the first time. Or even the second.

Not long ago, I decided to emotionally cleanse my extra-curricular relationships. I felt like it was a lot to deal with, what with feelings having to be processed on a continuous basis. But I think I might have allowed the pendulum to swing too far in the other direction. Just like taking the fat out of food and being surprised when it is flavorless, taking the emotions out of sex has created a situation where sex is becoming more and more bland. 

I never thought I would see the day, frankly. I feel like I do at the end of many of my creative projects, like I learned something, and now I am waiting for the next thing. I finished this creative sexual project, so what is my next one? 

I know, saying that all the sex I am having is getting boring seems crazy, or like I don't understand how lucky I am to have so much. Well, that might be true. But, this is how I learn about myself. I push myself to limits before unknown to me, just like the crew on THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE, and inso doing, I learn more about who I am as a person. Evidentally, I am not a person who likes sex without emotion. Galaxy discovered, explored, and recorded.

The thing I have to step back and appreciate though is that I have the freedom and the confidence to do this. I believe that I am allowed to have sex with whoever I want, whenever I want (as long as they are also willing,) and make no apologies. Many, many people all over the world cannot say the same, and in that way, I am lucky, but also, I have earned it. Which, if we lived in a perfect world, no one would have to do, we could all just do what we wanted without fear of judgement, discrimination, or punishment. But we live in a world, presently anyway, where those in power control us through fear. Some people are targeted more than others, to be sure, but none of us are encouraged by our society to be and love ourselves. 

This, in a very clear way, is what self-love can do. It can give you the confidence and the courage to be yourself, and in this judgmental, consumer-driven, patriarchal world, that is no easy feat. In fact, I often think of Shackleton's ad for men to go to Antarctica when I am attempting to persuade myself into self-love:

"Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success."

I write about self-love a lot because my life has changed so much due to the self-love practice to which I have committed, because NOT being loving towards myself would be too fucking limiting. 

If I were constantly trying to "fit in" or "conform," my life would be so much smaller, I would be less happy, and way busier with even more boring shit than having sex with strangers. I hope I haven't lost you here. It is getting a little existential, I know, but I believe in the end, it will all be worth it. GET IT!?!?!  I love existential humor.

That is the thing about self love. It is hard as fuck, it takes constant vigilance. You will most likely fuck up a lot. But not doing it at this point feels to me like choosing to live in a cage, and nobody with a choice should have to do that. 

Self-love is not a destination, it is a hard-as-fuck journey that requires focus, courage, and humility. Some of the benefits are astounding, though the pitfalls can be quite harrowing. But it is a life worth living, to be certain, and I am happy to deal with the struggles that come with it, as long as it means I can also be free.

A mid-week blog post?
Well, what can I say, I had stuff on my mind.
Now that it is off, I can ask
​that you share this with your fellow humans.
They are indeed a worthy and fine bunch.

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Physical Joy

10/19/2016

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 I still remember the first time I ever ran the ball into the end zone for a touchdown. As I crossed the goal line, my team, and the tiny crowd on the sidelines went wild. My heart was beating a million miles an hour and the pride and happiness I held in my lungs felt like they might burst forth at any moment.

It was that experience, and many others similar to it; hitting a baseball for the first time, shooting a basketball into the hoop with a SWISH, making pottery, diving for and catching a line drive before I even knew what my body was doing, drawing a glass jar almost perfectly, that woke me up to the pride and joy I could feel for my body. It woke me up to what my body could do if I worked at it.

I have also enjoyed compliments; when people tell me I look good, or that my outfit is adorable, but there is nothing like the feeling I have when I am proud of something that my body can do, generally because those things have taken work. I have honed many physical skills over the course of my life, and each time I practice anything physically, I glimpse my ability and my potential. I glimpse my connectedness. I glimpse my purpose.

So when I have been punished, or belittled for my body's appearance, I have found it more and more easy to blow off: "Oh, you think my arms are too hairy?!?! Well can YOU do a handstand?!?!?!"  When I am belittled for my appearance or just belittled in general, I remind myself of my awesomeness. Not everyone knows how awesome I am, and that is okay, as long as I don't forget. 

When I forget, I know I am in trouble. When I start beating up on myself, or feeling badly and then doing destructive things, that is when I know I have forgotten how truly fucking epic it feels to kick up into a handstand, or have really great sex, or ride my bike up a long hill, or draw a picture of a woman in a tree, on the precipice of flight. 

For all of these are reasons, and many more, I decided a long time ago to treat my body like a vehicle, not an ornament. Because while it is nice to get compliments on my looks, those are fleeting, and depend upon the approval of an outside source. Physical ability is lasting; you work at it over time, feeling the setbacks and advances, and it rests squarely on your own shoulders. You truly earn your ability to do anything.

But there is a difference between understanding what my body is capable of and dealing with how I feel about myself. Because so many other things in life also send me messages, and if I am not also training my mind to allow the best and brightest messages in, I might end up allowing in trash that will inevitably pollute my well-being. I have friends who inadvertently belittle me, relatives who sometimes say the thing that hurts me the most, and I have worked with people who have seemed to go out of their way to make sure that my work life was a shitshow. 

These are all realities in my life, and I have come to see that if I can train my mind, much like I train my body, I can handle this type of treatment with love and compassion. This is the hardest thing I do, because unless I have truly let a past trauma go, things I encounter today will trigger those memories and I will go through that pain all over again. 

For instance, my mother lied to me a lot as a kid. She did very little to make sure I was safe and healthy, and very often would belittle or abuse me when she was feeling badly. It is no wonder I have had a hard time learning how to trust women in my life. My father left our house when I was about eight, and kept leaving in one way or another, all of his life. I had to work my ass off to create a relationship with him, and now, I have to remind myself that I don't have to work my ass off to get someone to love me, that I am lovable, just as I am. 

As a kid, I believed that I was treated this way because of me, because there was some flaw in my design, that I was not lovable or worthy of care. I just couldn't bring myself to believe that someone I loved was flawed in that way. Yes, I grew out of that, but growing up believing that shit trained me into seeing it. It created a filter of pain through which I viewed the world, and one which has taken a lot to undo.

Just as my body learned to catch, throw, and draw, it also learned that I was not lovable. So while I developed this one filter, which told me I was physically capable of doing really wonderful things, I also developed this other one that told me I was not a good person, and when I choose to believe that filter, I am capable of doing truly regrettable things.  Every day, it is up to me to choose my filter. 

Just like catching a ball, or drawing a picture, this, too is learned behavior, and depends, once again, upon some outside source. Just like a compliment, an insult does not have to land on you. You can reject it. You can choose to allow the person trying to hurt you to have their pain. You can not allow the disease of pain and anger and hatred to spread. But this is not the kind of thing you learn after school on the playground.

Though I have been in therapy for years, I received very little training on how to let people be assholes without making it my problem. This is the hardest thing to do for someone who feels like she needs to stand up for herself at every opportunity. I have had so many situations in which I was powerless to defend myself, that now, when I have the wits and the opportunity to do so, it is almost impossible to bite my tongue. It is almost inconceivable that I would choose not to use my highly honed skills of debate and verbal combat to defend myself. 

But I think that just might be the lesson. Though I have these ninja-like verbal communication skills, I don't have to use them. I don't have to prove anything to anyone, least of all someone who is trying to hurt me. 

I am worthy of love not because I work my ass off for it, but because I am a person.

I actually do deserve people in my life who will not lie to me and belittle me.

I don't have to defend myself against people who belittle me because they are in pain.

So I go through life vigilantly reminding myself of these things. I realize that at some point, my physical abilities will dwindle. As my body ages, I will be able to do less and less, and at a certain point, I will just have my wits and my ability to choose which filter I will use through which to view the world. This is its own kind of practice, and though it does not result in an amazing orgasm or a touchdown, what it does bring will help me to truly see myself and love that person. It will help me know that in the long run, I was worth the effort.

Share away, my friends, and thanks so much for stopping by. The coloring books are almost done! Want one? Only $15 each!!  Message me if you are interested in buying one for yourself or for your loved ones. It really is a very cool piece of art.

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The Power Dynamic that Brought Us Here

10/14/2016

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Have I spent just as much time trying to convince men that sexism exists as I have in dealing with it? I am not sure. But at this point, I have to admit, there is a part of me that is dying to stand on the nearest chair, point to the heavens and scream, "I told you so!" 

Watching the way Trump behaves is not shocking to me. I have met powerful men before, and while not all of them are this type of sick individual, many of them are. They believe that their money and power gives them permission to treat others like trash, and not just women. 

They can do it because they know that they can squash you like a bug if you complain. I have experienced this so many times in my life I do not have the time or energy to recount all the tales. But I can tell you that I know there is absolutely no fighting this. These people do what they do because they are broken, hurt or in some sort of irrepairable emotional pain, and any resistance or backlash only gives them further opportunity to flex their power and crush you.

While I see this as an abhorrent form of sexism, I truly believe that this is even more a symbol of the patriarchal classist bullshit that has been operating in this country and the world for far too long. This guy isnt just a sexist or a racist or a homophobe. This guy is part of a power structure that has been turning us little people against each other in order to maintain its dominance. 

As I said, you can't fight it. They have the power. That is why they get away with it. With money, they pay off law enforcement, judges, government officials, you name it, they can pay for it. This idea has driven me to do drastic and unreasonabe things in my life, because more than anything else, I hate feeling powerless. So several years ago, I decided not to participate. While it does limit me in some ways, I have cultivated a life in which I don't have to deal with power structures too often. 

A few ways I have done this:
  • I barely if ever buy retail.
  • I do not buy pop culture magazines like Vogue or Cosmo. I spend my money on Bitch, Babe, Mantra and Darling IF I feel the need to browse through a magazine full of advertisements.
  • I buy local almost exclusively.
  • I do not work in places where the power structure is patriarchal (I have been self-employed since January).
  • I am in an open relationship which does not constrict my freedom.
  • I work (make art and write) to show people how to operate outside of the dominant paradigm instead of fighting against it.
  • I do everything I can to create an alternate paradigm so that I am not dependent upon the approval or permission of anyone in power.

​This is the basis of my work, to attain some sort of freedom; to exist beyond the boundaries within which society teaches us to conform. I write and make art in order to inspire people to hope for something better, something human. 

Because this shit is killing us by getting us to kill each other. That this reality star, failed business psychopath has this kind of reach is just evidence that the power structure works. But we can create something better. We do not have to depend on these fucks to have an existence. We can live beyond this bullshit. But it takes effort. It takes deliberate, conscious effort. 

We all know what kind of choice we have this election. It is not one too many people want to make, but the reality is that we are here because we have been fooled into belieiving that this is the way it has to be. It is not. But we must be responsible. We cannot keep watching our Facebook feeds for news. We cannot passively sit in front of our TVs every night, waiting to be entertained. Entertainment is for those who can afford it. WE CANNOT. 

The time has come for us to stand for ourselves and each other. The time has come for us to stop buying into what they are telling us we have to be. The time has come for us to use our time instead of doing time. 

Sick of sexism? Sick of homophobia? Sick of racism? Sick of hearing people blaming immigrants for the problems of the poor? Do not buy into it. Do not buy the magazines that pedal the twisted versions of humans that they tell you to aspire to. Do not buy video games that celebrate violence against ANYONE. Do not give your money to multinational corporations that believe you have no right to clean water.

Be responsible. Know where your money goes. Know where your time goes. Know where your energy goes. 

It might not seem like it, but we have power. It is the power those in charge have been keeping us from through divisiveness. It is the power of the many. We are so far in the majority, those of us who are the 98%, that those in power go to these extremes in order to control us. It is time to REJECT THAT. Reject the idea that you have more in common with a Trust Fund Millionaire Psychopath than with the guy that just came over the border from Mexico. Do not be deceived by skin color, gender, religion, ethnicity or otherwise. THESE ARE INCONSEQUENTIAL compared to the power wielded by the rich.

You think what Trump says it is ugly? You are right. But what are you going to do about it? Are you going to stand up for the people around you when they are oppressed? Are you going to fight against corporate interests in politics, interests that dictate where your money goes? Interests that pay for the privelege to pollute your world? Trump is not the point. The point is that even when you vote, all of the regulations, laws and mandates passed by the legislative branch is paid for by big pharma, big oil, the military industrial complex, or a company like Nestle.

It was not too long ago that government regulated business. Now, business regulates government and We, The People are losing our rights, slowly but surely. The world is dying because there are no protections. People are dying because they are seen as obstacles to profit.

I am sick of standing on chairs and saying I Told You So. I would love it if you could give me the benefit of the doubt here and do some research. Look into the history of humans, the history of this country, and what other countries do to care for the land and the citizenry. You will see that America is not the great country it claims to be, but a place where those in power dictate what goes on, by their leave. 

Next week, I will go back to writing about bodies and relationships. This week, I had to speak out, even if it was only to a few thousand people. I had to say something, because while a lot of people think it is too late to do anything about this now, just wait a few years. If this shit continues, I will be in the sad position, once again, of fighting the urge to find the nearest chair and point to the heavens as I scream.

I know. Not your typical Eloquent as Fuck topic, but I had to. If you like it, if you don't like it, if you agree or disagree, share it. Tweet, FB, email, they all work.

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The Question is How

10/6/2016

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 If you think at all about how we view ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, and how we feel about each other, it is well worth the price of admission to go and see the movie, "Embrace," if you can.  If you can't get to it, I am sure it will be on Netflix. I saw it earlier this week, and had the opportunity to be on a panel of speakers after. It was a wonderful event, and the take-away for me was, "how?"

How do you love your body?
How do you ignore all of the voices and messages telling you that you are not good enough?
How do you stop judging others? 
How do you stop judging yourself?
How do you build a community of people around you?
How do you take your power back?
How do you feel good about yourself even if you are not perfect?

The movie went into the problem. We, humans, that is, with enough time on our hands, seem to turn against ourselves and each other. There is really no other way to put it. Men and women are expected to be idealized forms of a human which is neither attainable or sustainable, nor is it very human. Our pores are supposed to be invisible, we are not to age, our (female) genitals must appear to be pre-pubescent, our hair must be full and lustrous, our (female) bodies must be lean, but with large butts and equally large and perky breasts. If you pay any attention at all to popular culture, and measure yourself against the idealized versions of humans that are paraded through movies, in magazines, and in television shows, there is no way you can come out feeling adequate.

And that is the first part of the answer to the how. There is no reason to let this stuff into your life. It is poison. It will kill the human inside you if you give it the chance. You might think I am being dramatic, but just look at the statistics: (Thank you to heartofleadership.org)

* More than 90 percent of girls – 15 to 17 years – want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance, with body weight ranking the highest. (Source)
* Girls’ self-esteem peaks when they are 9 years old. (McGraw, Carol, “Media, hormones, peer pressure do a number on girls’ confidence”, The News-Sentinel, Mon, Jul. 31, 2006)
* 80% of children who are 10 years old are afraid of being fat. (Source)
* 9 million teens in America below 15 years are obese, that’s three times more than in 1980. (Source)
* Obese boys and girls have significantly lower self-esteem than their non-obese peers. (Source)
* Up to 12% of teen boys are using unproven supplements and/or steroids. (Source)
* Nearly a quarter of girls age 15-17 would consider undergoing plastic surgery. (Source)
*13 percent of girls age 15-17 acknowledge having an eating disorder. (Source)
* 7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way including their looks, performance in school and relationships. (Source)
*80% of 10-year-old girls have dieted. 90% of high school junior and senior women diet regularly. Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents. (Source)
* The top wish among all girls is for their parents to communicate better with them which includes, more frequent and more open conversations, as well as discussions about what is happening in their own lives. (Source)


And this just gets worse as we age. So how do we stop this? One word: Relationships.

Relationships
 because they want you to believe that you are alone. Because they want you to think that you are the first one who has ever felt the way you feel. Because they are depending on your feeling of isolation to manipulate you into buying shit you don't need. They are hoping to convince you that looking and behaving like everyone else will help you feel like you belong. But when you are spending all of your time trying to fit in with a bunch of people with whom you have nothing in common, what happens is that you miss out on opportunities to know and love yourself, and you put yourself in a position where you will feel even more alone, because these people you are trying to fit in with are most likely also just trying to fit in. The only thing you will have in common is that none of you knows yourself, and therefor, will ever really know each other. 


Develop a relationship with your body based on love, compassion, support and trust. Get to know it. Get to know how it feels. Do not change something about it to fit someone else's image of what they think you should be. Find out what your body is capable of doing. Do not judge yourself on your looks. Measure yourself by your ability to grow, change, and improve. Learn to appreciate that the human body is a magnificent vehicle, and it was meant to be used, not judged based on unreasonable aesthetical* parameters. *yes, I just made up that word. 

Develop a relationship with yourself based on love, compassion, support and trust. Find out your likes, your dislikes, what excites you, what scares you, and what makes you feel comfortable. Do you like challenging yourself, or are you a person who would rather feel safe? You were born into this world with the body you have, the mind you have, and the soul you have. Why not figure that out? Why not explore who you are before you attempt to mold yourself into someone else's idea of who you should be?

Develop a relationship with the people around you based on support, compassion, love and trust. Do this after you have been practicing on yourself a bit. You will most likely begin to do this naturally, but if you don't, make an effort to do so. Support people who need it. Ask your friends, family and loved ones if they need help. Do not allow the people around you to run themselves down or run you down. 

Create a community around you based on support, compassion, love and trust. Include everyone you think could use it. Set the ground rules and help everyone have access to all the people in the group. 

IGNORE the cultural paradigm that tells you that you must improve in some way. Shut out the messages that communicate that aging is a disease. Do not accept any messages that tell you that you are anything other than spectacular. Do not beat yourself or anyone else up for being human. We are here to be human, not perfect.

I know this sounds like a lot of work, but it is a lot of work to brainwash you too. There are people working round the clock, tirelessly figuring out ways to sell you the idea that you are not enough, so that you will buy things to fix yourself. This is the message behind most cosmetic ads, all diets, most work out packages, clothing ads, food, drinks, cars, real estate, prescription drugs, banks, in fact, I can't think of one thing for sale on the market now that does not use your fear, self-doubt, and need for love to manipulate you into believing that you need fixing.

But it is all bullshit. All of it. 

​There is another part of this, and this is the hardest part. EVERYONE around you is subject to this brainwashing, so they too will run you down if you are not in lock-step with "who you are supposed to be." And this is hard because we all want to be loved. To love and be loved is why we are here, and that is why it is so easy to manipulate us. We equate all of this stuff: beauty, fitness, thinness, wealth, fame, and sex appeal, with being lovable. But it is not. You do not need any of this stuff to be lovable. You only need to be you. If you come across someone who needs you to change, who needs you to be anything other than who you are in order to love you, lovingly release yourself from their expectations. It is not their fault they are brainwashed anymore than it is yours. Be kind. Chances are, when someone reacts to you as if they believe you are disgusting, it is most likely because they have been treated the same way and most likely, on some level, believe it. They are reacting to you because that is what they have been trained to do.

Tough love is required in these times. You must view this as life or death, because in a sense it is. Life is what happens when you engage, when you find yourself peeling aways the layers you have built up in the process of protecting yourself. Life is what happens when you can open your heart to who you really are. Death is what happens when you try your damndest to be like everyone else. Death is what happens when you do everything you can to distract yourself from your feelings. Death is what happens when you twist yourself in knots trying to please other people. That is death, whether your body is alive or not, that is death.

So, after how, the next question is will you? Will you get up the courage, the strength, and the focus to shut the bullshit out and build a life you can be proud of? Will you get up the nerve to ask for help if you need it? Will you reject the dominant paradigm that tells you that you were not born as a being of potential, but rather as a package of flaws to be addressed? Will you stand for yourself as a human, and therefor inspire others to do the same? 

This is the game-changer. This is the hardest thing you can do, after years and years of being brainwashed into believing that you are flawed, to change your perspective and see yourself as a potent and fierce creature. 

Because that is all it takes; not face cream, not bigger boobs, not a smaller waist, not a faster car. Just a change in perspective. This takes time, it takes focus, it takes energy, but in the end, the only thing you have to change, is your mind. 

And this is something that no company in the world can sell you. There is no template. There is no one-size-fits-all. This is in your hands. Your unique, wonderful, capable. hands. You get the privelege of getting to discover who you are. You get the honor of finding out what you are capable of.

And after that, you have the opportunity to show the rest of us just how potent and fierce a creature you really are. 

I think you can do this. All you have to do is start. All you have to do, is go easy on yourself. Stop believing you have to fit in to be human and start looking for just how gloriously different you are. 
Share this with anyone you think can use it. Tweet it, copy and paste the web address, do whatcha gotta. 
Oh, and go see the movie "Embrace."

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What I Live For

10/3/2016

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"So many people say that they are willing to die for a cause, but my question is, what are they willing to live for?"

I had to admit, it was a good question. I was sitting in my new house with my new roomies, and we were sharing our first dinner. The conversation had shifted quickly to weighty things, of which I was glad.

Her question made me think about courage and the ability to break past the fear of success, but, it also made me wonder, who has died so that I can live? My mind went immediately to Jesus. Not that I am Christian, but if you are a person living in the US, it is pounded into your head that a large segment of the world believes that Jesus died to save sinners. 

But I think they got that wrong.

In the last year or so I have had the opportunity to witness footage of humans treating each other deplorably. Usually centered on race, The videos I and millions of other internet users have watched illustrate what has always been true, humans are absolutely brutal to each other. I have watched grown men and women die for doing nothing more than trying to live their lives the best they could, and every time I see or hear of such an event, I am heartbroken all over again. The more I see these attrocities occur, the more I am becoming aware, that in a very real sense, these people are dying for me. I believe in this way, they are Christ-like.

In almost every experience, good or bad, I have found a lesson. The bible is much the same way; it is a series of stories written to teach moral awareness and human compassion. But in the end, I think that Christians and humanity got the story of Jesus wrong. Jesus did not die to save sinners. Jesus died to save us from sinning. 

In case you have not read the New Testament, I will break it down into the most simplistic terms. Jesus was born to a virgin, and eventually became a preacher. He healed people, helped the needy, then a whole bunch of people killed him because they saw him as a threat. Which, if you read the bible, you can see very clearly that he is not. As I said, simplistic. If you want the bigger picture, go read Matthew, Mark, or Luke. Evidently, John  is up for debate. They all tell slightly different versions of the life of Jesus. Oh, also, be warned that the language in them is a bit thick. You will need time and access to definitions of what certain words and phrases mean in the biblical sense. 

This dude, Jesus, much like the folks getting killed all over the country, was no threat, but the people who killed him feared him. And now it seems certain people believe that you can go around killing people and call yourself a Christian, because you can go to church and be forgiven, or, because your religion in one way or another justifies it. Because Jesus died to save you. But Jesus did not die to save you, Jesus died to warn you. Jesus is depicted as a good man. He was killed in a brutal fashion. Not to absolve you, but to illustrate in detail the dangers of succumbing to fear and hatred.

Do not kill. Again, it is pretty simple. Humans, all human life, is sacred. The fear you feel for your brothers and sisters, (for we are all connected) is actually the fear of the pain you hold within you. It is fear of self. It is the anger of suppression and resentment. It is the embodiment of the pain you have felt at your own hand and the hands of others. 

There is no reason or justification available to look down upon or mistreat anyone, including yourself. It does not matter if your religion justifies it. It does not matter if your company, your government, or your parents model this behavior. You are no better, and you are no worse. This is the only absolute I know. 

I write and talk a lot about self-love. I believe fully that if we can get there, violence in the world will end, no one who truly loves herself could hurt another. No one who is kind and compassionate around the flaws and frailties within would ever exploit those qualities in another. No one who feels safe would ever make another feel threatened. 

This mirror effect relates to everything in life. The person who is disgusted by another person's genitals is most likely ashamed of their own. The person who blames homosexuals for ruining the sanctity of marriage feels horrible about his role in his own broken marriage. The person who believes that immigrants are taking away her ability to make a living is ashamed at her own inability to do so and frustrated over the lack of control she has in that situation. 

Again, it is quite simple. The anger and hatred you feel for another starts with you. It starts with the love you have for yourself. It starts with the compassion, the kindness and the sweetness with which you approach your flaws. 

I do believe these people have died to wake us up and stand for an end to violence, hatred, and exploitation. They have died so that we may live. 

For what is a life if it is not the experience of love, compassion and collaboration? What is a life, if you idly stand by and watch as your brothers and sisters kill one another?

What is a life? And what are you living for?

I almost never write about Jesus. The last time I did, it was in a class in college called The Bible as Literature. As suspected, I crushed it. So, go ahead, think hard on this one. Share it. Talk with your friends about why you are alive. 
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