How to Pick up Dudes Part One: Mindset

In the last week or so, I have picked up a few dudes. When I have told the stories to some of my female friends, they react with a mixture of shock and delight. Many have responded with, "I could never do that!" Well, I am here to tell you, it is not as hard as it looks, and in this first of three series on How to Pick Up Dudes, I will give you the central skill necessary to picking up dudes: Mindset. 

Yogi Berra once famously said that half of baseball is ninety percent mental. The same could be said of picking up dudes.

When most people decide against asking someone out it is for one reason: fear of rejection. Well, as I told my first boyfriend when he was looking for my clit, you're doing it wrong.

When you ask someone out, you will of course go down the "what happens if" road to rejection. What you are most likely thinking is: "I will ask him out, he will reject me, I will feel ugly, then I will cry." 

I get it, but the reality is that this is not what happens. What actually happens when you hit on a dude is one of four things:

1. He says no, you feel a bit bummed, but later, he tells his friends that from out of the blue someone asked him out (today, yesterday, last week). Guys get off on being wanted. Even if he says no, he will be bragging about it for weeks to come. That is how guys are. Additionally, you are proud of yourself for asking. It takes courage and you did it.
2. He says yes, You are stoked. He is stoked. You set up a date and it does not go well. Well, at least you tried.
3. He says yes. You are stoked. He is stoked. You set up a date and you have a great time. You have just attained superstar status.
4. You don't ask. You think about him for a while, wondering what would have happened if you had asked. You regret your inaction. 

This is what you must have in your mind when you are confronted with a dude you think you might want to hang out with. NOT the horrifying rejection. NOT the pain and sorrow that rejection will cause. Asking someone out is a compliment in any language, and even if he says no, he will feel good that you asked.

The thing about rejection, and I know this first hand, is that after you have endured it, you realize it's not so bad. In fact, the more I have been rejected, the easier the prospect has been to handle. It becomes a part of life that isn't wonderful, but isn't really so bad, either. 

I would rather regret something that I have done than something that I have not done. I would rather not spend the rest of my life wondering, "what if?" I want to spend the rest of my life thinking, "damn, you gave it a shot. You went where others fear to tread. You are a badass trailblazing motherfucker." 

I feel much better about myself when I am brave. In this particular situation, I am sending myself the message that I am worthy of great deeds of heroism and cunning. Even if he says no, I have said yes.

Next week I will go over the next vital step to Hitting on Dudes: Preparation. The week after I will follow up with Execution. Yes, in three short weeks, you will have all the tools you need to hit on dudes. Freedom is just around the corner.

---

Did you find this useful? Tweet it! Like it!!  Share it on facebook! Email it to a friend. They will thank you for it. OR, just leave a comment in the section below. I will respond. I promise.