When I was in my late teens, I used to stare from my car, at people in their cars, trying to make eye contact. It blew my mind that there were other people in the world that had as many thoughts going through their heads as I did, who worried and laughed and worked and had a whole life which for moments at a time came in to such close proximity to mine without noticeably affecting it.
It is something I think about a lot now. Now, I walk up to strangers on the street and I talk with them. I have given myself the opportunity to talk with people I would never have approached otherwise. It has opened the world to me in ways I would not have predicted.
I recently received an email from someone to whom I gave a sticker in Colorado. He sent me an email to thank me for approaching and talking with him because he said most people are physically intimidated by him, though he would not hurt a fly.
Imagine that. I guess I don't have to. I have been told that I am intimidating. I don't always mean to be, I could not imagine someone being intimidated by a small woman like myself, yet, it has happened and I have been told that in many different situations, I am a bit off-putting, maybe even scary.
But I have come to something quite stunning. The other day, as I approached a woman, she yelled at me. She told me to stay away from her. In that moment, I had the thought that I could never get as close to another as I could allow myself to get to me. That probably sounds nonsensical. In fact, I am not sure I understand it completely, but in all my interactions with strangers, I have come to see that I am only able to do as much for another as I can for myself, and in some cases, it's not much, especially when I am diminishing the potency of my contribution.
So I think on this. I think that in every moment, I have the opportunity to grow through my interactions with other people, and depending on how I feel about myself in that moment, I can either get more than I could have ever dreamed, or nothing at all.
It is all up to me in every moment.
While that is comforting in a way, it is also quite a lot of pressure.
This is me trying to figure out what I think. I am just short of realizing my potential in so many moments...as if it is out there beyond my fingertips. Want to know what I am talking about? Go to A Love Rebellion! It is a social engagement project I am doing for the next three week. I have been doing it all summer and some wonderful things have come of it.
Be a part of A Love Rebellion. Spread love, hope and compassion.
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