I looked down, and there it was, amidst the "NAMASTE"s, "Spiritual Gangser"s, "breathe in love"s, was mine, "DTF". I didn't know if the people wearing the other shirts walked their talk, but I was keenly aware that I certainly did.
It was at this moment that I realized that I had to create a whole line of shirts with sayings like, "Fuck off, I'm doing YOGA", and, "Iamonewithwhateverthefuck", and, "These yoga pants ain't gonna stare at themselves"
This is the stuff I think about in yoga, before class, when I am supposed to be "arriving." I think about ways to entertain myself. I think about things I can make. I think about ways to subvert whatever paradigm I happen to find myself operating within. Since I first felt the sweet satisfaction I derived from doing so, I have pushed hard against the norm.
It might be why I responded to the turning of the year with such vengeance. This is truly The Year of Revolution, and I will be doing everything I can to subvert the paradigm of oppression and exploitation of common people everywhere.
A few of the things I am doing will be legal. A few won't, but unfortunately, I feel like it has now come to where we must each ask ourselves what we are willing to sacrifice for the sake of the whole. I am willing to sacrifice everything I have, which, as luck would have it, is not that much.
I am not willing to hurt people. I am not willing to destroy things. But I am willing to stand up and against a government which has been fucking people over for far too long. Even if that government, ESPECIALLY if that government, is my own.
I would rather, at this point, not feel sorry later for wanting to be safe. It is the first time in my life I have ever said or even thought that. I have always considered safety to be its own reward, you see, but in this case, I am not willing to sacrifice the well-being of others so that I can have a false sense of security. And at this point, I would say that any security anyone feels is indeed, false.
I didn't predict that this would be my path. I had no idea that the project I started on July 17, 2015 would bring me to a point where I could take no more. But I guess that is what happens. You start treating yourself better, start accepting yourself the way you are, start actually loving yourself, start only accepting the best for yourself, and this naturally bleeds onto other people.
I never thought I would say this, after all my years in the retail and service industries, but I care a great deal about what is happening to people. I am pissed that there is talk of registering Muslims. I am horrified at the rolling back of laws created to protect people. I am stunned that so many are either blind to or unconcerned about this stuff. That people are willing to hunker down and endure the next four years when so many do not have that luxury. I am horrified that my tax dollars are going to pay for hate, murder, and exploitation.
I just can't. And I know I can't change people. I know I can't convince people to care, as I have just gone through a metamorphosis which took years to complete, I know I cannot snap my fingers and get other people to Declare Independence from the US government.
But I can very boldly state where I stand. I can say, as often as possible, I am not down with this. I will not go along with the registering of ANYONE. I will not stand by and watch as years of progress are flushed down the tubes in the name of giving more power and money to the rich, greedy, and stupid. I will not.
Which brings me back, as you might have guessed, to my Tshirt idea. The idea of wearing your belief or your strategy for life on your Tshirt is not new, and it is not really my idea. I mean, I love a good Tshirt, but a Tshirt, no matter how clever, is just a symbol. My idea is to be bold. To state my beliefs. To stand up for others. To not let those who wish to scare me, do so. Yeah, I might print up a few Tshirts, but in essence, what I am doing is boldly and unapologetically being myself, which so many people cannot do in this world. And I will also stand up for, encourage, and support anyone else who seeks to do such a thing.
It doesn't seem that big, does it? To say, "I am going to go out into the world, and just be myself." But unfortunately, it is. Not doing enough, not voicing our outrage, participating in a system which has systematically oppressed and exploited people for centuries, it is stopping. I am turning away from this. I will turn away by writing about it, making art about it, and speaking out about it. Most importantly, I will try to be a role model. I will attempt to give people the courage to be themselves.
The other part of this is turning towards what I DO want. Turning towards love, compassion, and acceptance. If other people can go out and commit hate crimes, I will commit crimes of love. I see no other way. What do crimes of love look like? Well, all I can say is, you will see.
I wish I could do more. I wish I had the money, the connections, and the power to move mountains, but I do not. I am an artist and a writer, and all I can do is express.
Express my outrage, express my dissent, express my indignation, by expressing my love, my compassion, my kindness to every single person.
I am a participant in the Love Revoution. As so many others are. And I have never participated in any more important movement. Never felt like anything I have ever done has mattered as much as this.