Eloquent as Fuck
  • BLOG
  • ABOUT Sara
  • Portfolio
  • What I'm Doing NOW
  • BLOG
  • ABOUT Sara
  • Portfolio
  • What I'm Doing NOW

MY BLOG HAS MOVED!!
JUST CLICK HERE AND YOU CAN GO THERE.

The Fear Of No

8/1/2014

2 Comments

 
Picture
I was talking to a friend today about why I felt the need to ask for something instead of waiting for said item to be offered. I thought a bit and then I realized, I used to be afraid of NO.

For a very long time, I never asked for anything, because the thought of hearing a "no" petrified me. I equated it to not being worthy, not being valued, not being loved. If I heard a "no," it would confirm my worst fears about myself. I spent a lot of time waiting around for people to offer. Most of the time, those offers never came.


The worst thing about this practice, I came to realize some time later, was that my fear of "no" was paralyzing me and in essence giving me that no anyway. I was saying "no" to myself every time I didn't ask for something, a "no" every time I did not speak up and state what I needed. 

Once I realized the effect this had on my life and all of the things I was missing out on, I worked my ass off getting up the courage to ask for what I needed. It was, in the beginning, very painful. Every time I asked for anything I expected a "no." I would feel a burning in my gut, my heart would pound in my chest, and my hands and neck would get sweaty. I was a mess most of the time. But little by little, I got used to hearing no, as well as yes, and I realized that "no" was not so bad. 

"No" ended up freeing me.

"No" is not the end of the world, and it is not death. It is the beginning of what is possible. It gives you one less option and frees you up to consider others. "No" is what you hear, very often, before the world opens up to you.

So, today, when my friend and I were discussing this, I realized I had worked too hard for the "no." I had put my heart into being okay with that answer. The reason I am able to ask for anything is that I am comfortable with "no." "No" is not the end of me. "No" is one more thing I have fought for, and something I will not give up. It is a lesson and a practice that has provided insight, courage and heart. 

That is why I won't stop asking for what I want, or what I need. Because I am worthy of both yes and no. I have fought too hard to give myself the permission to ask. Why would I ever give that up?

How about you? Do you find yourself not asking for things? Are you afraid of "no"? 

I challenge you to ask once this week, just once, for something you are afraid to ask for. See how it feels. Pay close attention to all the physical sensations associated with the question, and then the answer that comes. I guarantee you that no matter what happens, that "no" will not be the end of the world.

That "no" might just be the beginning.



Didja like this? Tweet it! LIKE it! email the link to a friend! OR, post a comment below and let me know what you think. Your feedback is always always appreciated.
2 Comments
Brandon
8/10/2014 06:10:05 am

No is the double edged Sword not only causing fear hearing No also telling people No.

It took me years to finally learn at times you have to tell people No.

Reply
Sara Young link
8/12/2014 09:02:06 am

Yeah, saying no is very hard, but it keeps you sane. And honest. Hope you are well, Brandon.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    A Love Rebellion.

    Picture
    Be a part of A Love Rebellion. Spread love, hope and compassion.

    Picture










    ​THE SELF LOVE WORKSHOP IS OPEN ON ETSY! Click here to go THERE.

    Artist Website

    Only the highlights from my creative life. Just click on the image.
    Picture

    Get your FREE confidence tips list here! Just sign up below.

    * indicates required
    Picture

    Most Popular

    • Cake Doesn't Give a Fuck
    • On Jealousy
    • Taking Risks
    • Surprising Yourself
    • What Would You Rather Be Doing?
    • What My Clothes Have Always Told Me.


    Support the Work.

    My work is supported by my readers. If you feel like you get something out of this every week, and you feel you are able, a $3 to $15 monthly subscription will help me bring you all the ass-kicking content possible. Thanks so much for your support.
    Support the Work.

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.