Since then, I have re-considered. Sex is nothing like potato chips. When I eat a chip, I am satisfying my appetite. It is a simple physical function. My mouth waters for more, then I might eat something sweet with it, then back to the salty chips, then maybe something to drink. It is pretty simple.
When I have sex, (and I am the first one to admit that I have an appetite), I am generous and giving. I open myself and become vulnerable. Emotionally, energetically, spiritually, physically, I am awake. I am not simply consuming another. It is not the satisfying of an urge as much as it is an expression and a conversation.
But while it seems quite easy to talk about chips, we still can't talk about sex, as vital as it is. Try talking about sex as if it is just a normal part of life and people get uncomfortable. If you are a woman and you are openly sexual, you are shamed. Sometimes overtly, sometimes not, but there is a judgement that comes to women who are open sexually. The most acceptable way for men to talk about sex is by way of bragging. It ends up being about exploitation.
Then we have the food comparisons:
- Sex is like pizza
- Sex is like ice cream
- Sex is like potato chips
- Sex is like peaches
- Sex is like candy
The wonderful reality is that sex is like nothing else. Sex is not just an act, it is an exploration, a way to go deeper into yourself and share that bit of spectacular with another, as well as be a witness to and appreciator of their special kind of spectacular. Sex is powerful enough to change your mood, your day, your life. When was the last time a potato chip did that for you? It is time to stop marginalizing actual sex and put it in the spotlight where it belongs.
When we treat sex as if it were an urge or an appetite, we lose. We lose ourselves, we lose each other, and we lose the ability to achieve our true potential.
I have lots of friends with whom I can talk about potato chips. We can go on for days and days about what we like. But sex? I know few people with whom I can speak openly and honestly about this topic. It is time to start talking about sex.