On Pleasing Yourself.
It is okay to enjoy having sex. It is okay to want to have sex. It is okay to ask for sex. It is okay to ask for what you need while having sex.
You are most likely thinking, "big deal, I know that....EVERYBODY knows that...." But, do you? How often do you pretend to cum? COME ON NOW, really. Just to get it over with? Yeah. I know. How many times have you had sex that for some reason, vaguely reminded you of porn? Or during the act, you found yourself making a mental list of what you had to buy at the store later?
How often do you talk about sex in a regular tone of voice? The same tone you use when you are talking about your car, your kids, the color of your kitchen walls? My guess is not very often, and my point, (I always have one) is that this is the behavior of a person who is pleasing someone else in a perfect situation where she could be asking for the very pleasure that might get her through the next 24 hours of her life! The very pleasure that could give her the energy to change the world. Yes, CHANGE THE WORLD.
So, when I say, "It is okay to want to have sex, it is okay to ask for sex," what I really mean is, put your whole self into it. Don't do it to pass the time. Do it to celebrate your body. Do it to celebrate your partner's body. Do it as a way to transcend your body. Don't waste that precious time you have with someone by being somewhere else in your head.
I am saying, and I hope you will pardon my french, fuck like you mean it. Fuck like you mean it and make no apologies. It is your right as a human to want it, to like it, to ask for it, and to do it with all your heart and soul.
So, on this, the momentous occasion, of my very first post, I have given you the very first advice that stuck with me, made me think over the course of many years, and with time, changed the way I considered the world and my place in it.
Fuck like you mean it. No one else is going to do it for you.
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